Entry 3

 Dear internet diary that Ms. Millman can read but likes to pretend she can’t anyway,

I am now supposed to write to a non-specific audience, as per request of my aforementioned therapist. Seems a little pointless though. I don’t think anyone reads this besides her. I guess it’s just a matter of principal. If it’s on the internet I have to address everyone on a whole.

Hello, non-existent audience, my name is Camilla, and this is my blog.

In case it wasn’t clear from my convoluted posts prior to this one, I am an emotionally disturbed individual. For a while now I have been suffering from brief episodes where I hallucinate and see things that aren’t there. It doesn’t occur very often, but it’s enough to make people worry.

It sucks, I’ve learned to deal with it, and there’s not much else to say about it.

The therapy and the being poked and prodded by doctors is old news for me. I’ve been through this song and dance before. Recently however I was in a bad car accident, where I over-corrected myself into a streetlamp to avoid hitting something that wasn’t there. It’s one thing being a teenager who can’t drive, it’s another being a psychological basket-case teenager who can’t drive.

So I took a mandatory break from work and pulled out of college. Now I can spend my time concentrating on maintaining my mental health…and painting flower pots…and blogging.

I don’t mean to come across as bitter, but yeah, I’m bitter. I’m not going to whine and say it isn’t fair because fairness has never been a real factor in anything ever. Just don’t expect me to be thrilled my life has been constricted to reality television and arts & crafts.

Oh well, you do what you can to keep your chin up in these kinds of situations. I’d much rather be bored and antsy as opposed to dead, so I shouldn’t complain. In fact, since the accident the hallucinations have all but gone away. I’ve been almost normal, with the exception of wiggy nightmares but I am willing to pin those on stress.

That’s all the major things you need to know about me. What else is there?

My favorite animal is a buffalo. I happen to be bilingual, and I really like French music (especially if we’re talking 40’s French music.) I’ll watch any animated movie you can throw at me. I pulled out every baby tooth I ever had and never cried. I don’t know what else to say.

Ms. Millman said I should talk about what I was planning on being once I got my degree, but to be honest I don’t know. Probably something a bit more hands on, like glass blowing, or designing.

Other than that, there’s not much else to write about. Today was largely un-eventful, so I’m just going to end it here.

I’m sure I’ll think of something to write about by tomorrow.

-Camilla